Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Update's On Life

Tomorrow is the 4th of July! I am so excited! I love holidays!
There are currently 17 days until I leave Oak Park. I am trying not to rant like I did yesterday but what can I say, anything is possible, even that I end up moving to Alaska... Never mind I am going to rant anyways... I WOULD HATE MY PARENTS FOREVER IF THEY MADE ME MOVE TO ALASKA! I HATE THEM FOR BEING ABLE TO MOVE ME TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY! I HATE THEIR CHOICES! I WISH THEY COULD UNDERSTAND!
I will try not to rant anymore now that I have...
My only security/inspiration is music. I love Taylor Swift and she isn't going anywhere anytime soon! I won't leave her behind when I leave. I am so bored because almost ALL my friends go to C.A.S.T. Summer and I didn't so I don't have anyone to talk to at the moment... I wish they could take a day off and come to my house for a party or a sleepover so that I could see them and talk to them and tell them just how much I miss them... I wish. But it will not happen and I can't do anything about it... AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I WISH I COULD WASH MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY OLDER BROTHER IS SO GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry about that... My brother was being a maggot like usual. Have I told you how bad I want to talk to someone? I am so lonely. I want to walk to the school and watch them rehearse and build the stage.

Lonely and Hopeless,
Gabby

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Good-Bye

I am leaving in 18 days. Exactly. No buts, ors, and maybes. My dads last day of work where he is's the 19th... :'-(/:'-0 My parents say it will be a good adventure. I think it will be like one of those adventure where the person ends up dead at the end... I am pretty sure that isn't fun... Why can't they understand that everything I want is here in Oak Park?
They haven't exactly found a house yet... I am worried we won't find one but my moms says that we should trust that one will come up when the time is right. I hope that time is never because then I will never have to leave and I will live in Oak Park and be married with my kids and husband and all my friends who have all been there since I was a kid and I trust and understand and want to spend my life with and be full of happiness...
I hope that my life is good enough that I don't have to tear my kids from home to home in hope of a life better than the last. Then they will be happy like I never will be even if I become rich and famous and I am the most popular girl in my whole school.
It is my belief that who you are decides the place you live and whoever I am does not clarify that I am supposed to live everywhere and move every 3 years or so. I also believe that well fate pulls someone somewhere they should have the choice to try and change that fate and their options. I wish I could do that. I wouldn't be going anywhere! I HATE MY PARENTS DECISION AND ALL THEIR STUPID UGLY OPTIMISM FOR THE UGLY HATEFUL TERRIBLE WORLD THEY ARE PULLING US TOWARDS WHERE WE HAVE NEVER BEEN AND WOULD NEVER HAVE TO GO IF THEY COULD JUST BE NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THE FACT THEY GET TO CHOOSE WHO I AM AND WHAT MY FATE IS, WHERE I SHOULD LIVE AND WHO I AM SUPPOSED TO BE AND HOW I SHOULD FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE THEY SHOULD SHUT UP FOR ONCE AND LISTEN TO WHAT THE REST OF US HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THE FACT  THEY ARE THE ADULTS AND AFTER THEY SAY SOMETHING IT IS THE OVERALL ANSWER WITH NO ADJUSTMENTS AND AGREEMENTS!!!!!! I HATE IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THIS AND THAT I HAVE TO GET RID OF THE PEOPLE AND THINGS AND PLACES AND THOUGHT AND HOMES AND ANIMALS AND RULES AND SCHOOL AND STORES AND HOPE AND EVERYTHING OAK PARK IS ABOUT THAT DOESN'T FIT IN OUR STUPID BAGS AS WE LEAVE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH THEY WOULD... I WANT THEM TO... I NEED THEM... I HATE IT AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME AND MY STUPID LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(>:-(